I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
