Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
