Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
