Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
