this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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