I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
