I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
