i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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