Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
