I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
