oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
