If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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