i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My feet surprised me
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