I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
