We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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