question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize