How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
