Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
