I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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