My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
