just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
