better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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