At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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