In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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