we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
