I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
