Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
