I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize