Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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