woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
