with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
