I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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