He had one of those small greek statue penises
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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