In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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