Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
