There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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