We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
