meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was like eating out sand paper
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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