did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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