no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
