You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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