In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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