I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
