just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize