their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
