I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
