yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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