dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
