ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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