new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize