You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
