dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
