Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm always down for nudity.
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