So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
