I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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