so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
