We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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