I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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