His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The Olympian is in my bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
