i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
