dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
