I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
