So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my sisters under your porch take her home
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My vagina is officially offended.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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