a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
