I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i now understand why vodka
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
