I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
