okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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