I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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