Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
