so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
