U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
