We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize