i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
