there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
