I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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