Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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