that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
