Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
