Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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